Toys, toys, toys. Our house is full of toys. Every room has toys. TOYS! TOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We buy some ourselves, sure. And then the grandparents buy some. And friends. And relatives. Birthday parties! Oh, the bane of our existence, birthday parties! How many toys do you need, children? TOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You out there, Melissa and Doug Bernstein, you hear us? You, the makers of those fine wooden toys? Blocks, puzzles, stackers, stickers, sorters, stamps, hammers, cars, clocks, magnets, paints, toys, toys, toys, toys, TOYS!!!!!!!!!!!! We are putting YOUR kids through college, Melissa and Doug!

One day, we're gonna grab a giant garbage bag, and stuff it all in there, fill it to the top, throw it to the curb, and someone please, for the love of G-d, just take them away from us, we're drowning in toys, toys, TOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOYS!