What's the most Jewish gift you can get your little one for their next birthday?
Some of you might say it's those little wooden Passover sets, but we'd like to remind you that you're trying to win the kid's favor, not earn their eternal enmity.
So, seriously, you want to get a gift. You'd like it to be fun. And, for whatever reason, we've decided it has to be extra super Jew-y. Have you considered model trains?
Yes, seriously, model trains — those little artifacts of an earlier, simpler, polio-er time. You lay the track, design the town, line up the cars, add a little electricity and BAM... well, you're still bored. But you're at least 5% less bored. And for an initial outlay of say, $500, what more can you ask for?
Oh, you mean like, a PlayStation? Sure, but that's not nearly as Jewish.
You see, one of the biggest companies in all of toy train-dom was Lionel. And Lionel was founded by Joshua Lionel Cowen — inventor and Jew! Lionel is widely credited with popularizing model trains, giving children of the 1950s literally minutes and minutes worth of entertainment. (He also eventually sold the company to his nephew, Roy Cohn. Yes, that Roy Cohn. The world is weird.)
So that's it, huh? The most Jewish-est toy ever is a train set? Actually, no, because the real answer is Barbie.