We're a website dedicated to determining the Jewish-ness of various celebrities. It's a good time.

What do the ratings mean?

We evaluate how Jewish a person is based on three factors. How Jewish they are internally, how Jewish they are externally and how much we want that person to be a Jew in the first place.

In practice, the I Score tends to refer to birth history with some adjustments for how we imagine they see/saw themselves. The O Score is for how Jewish they look and act. The K Score stands for Kvell (pride) and is subject to the whims of the creators of this website.

Why ratings? Why not just say Jew or Not Jew?

Because we had a picture of a really Jewish-looking guy and wanted to use it. Plus, it's more fun this way.

So you guys are the experts on who's Jewish and who isn't?

Nope. Most of the time we don't even do research. We're just making this up as we go along and then exhibiting it in a venue that allows anyone to see it.

G-d Bless the Internet.

Why don't you guys list (insert Jew here)?

Probably because we're lazy and haven't written their blurb yet. We're happy to do requests, but otherwise we have an extra super-secret method of choosing who gets added. We let the guinea pig pick.

Why is So-and-So listed in Such-and-Such category?

We give up. Why? Why is the sky blue? Why do only ugly chicks ride the bus in the morning? Why do you insist on asking annoying questions? The answer is, we don't know why. No one does. We're just doing what the voices in our heads tell us to do.

What's with the links at the bottom of the profile pages?

It's a new feature that lets you move between profiles that share (somewhat) similar qualities. This helps us keep the older profiles from being lost and forgotten in the bottom of a deep, dark hole like a once-beloved childhood toy or the dead body of a formal rival. Hopefully closer to the beloved toy.

The links don't make any sense: Why is So-and-So linked to Whosiwhatsit and not Whats-His-Face?

There may be some deeper meaning that can be divined from why one person is connected to another. But we wouldn't bet on it. Mostly we're just pulling this out of our tuchases. If it makes sense, so much the better.

Want to go out for a nosh?

Sounds good. But only if you're female. And hot. OK, you don't have to be female.