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    Ben Zobrist

    Jew Score:



    May 26, 1981 —

    We've gotten pretty tired of the Jewish sports stereotypes here at JONJ. People will tell you that Jews can't be basketball players or football players and we'd like to think we've proven that those things simply aren't true. Jews can be anything in sports they put their minds to.

    Except for maybe one thing: shortstop.

    As mentioned in our previous profile of the prolific Ian Kinsler, our fantasy baseball squad is short a man at short and it doesn't look like one is showing up to fill in any time soon.

    What is it about shortstop that repels Jews? Shortstops grab screaming liners, not ham sandwiches.

    They decide who catches pop-ups to the left side of the infield, not who gets baptized.

    And in the Torah, it says Thou Shalt Not Covet They Neighbor, not Thou Shalt Not Stand In The Space Between the Second and Third Baseman In A Game That Hath Not Yet Been Invented, But Trust Me, When It Shows Up It'll Be Awesome And You'll Want To Play So Do Me A Favor And Just Don't Fucking Do It.

    Well, we have no answers here.

    So just remember, when someone says that Igor Olshansky or Jordan Farmar or whoever can't be Jewish because of the sport they play, they're just being ludicrous. But when they tell you that David Eckstein or Ben Zobrist (especially the extra-super-Christian Zobrist) or anyone else playing shortstop in the majors is a Jew, well, we couldn't blame you for being equally as skeptical.

    Verdict: Not a Jew.

    September 24, 2009

    See Also

    Lou Boudreau

    David Eckstein

    Sam Fuld

    Gabe Kapler

    Ian Kinsler
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