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    Sam Fuld

    Jew Score:
    9

    I3

    O3

    K3
    November 20, 1981 —

    As part of their last gasp grasp at relevancy in the AL East this season, Tampa Bay went back to the bad old days of their infancy (when their lineup was made up of such 'luminaries' as Greg Vaughn and Vinny Castilla) and signed an aging, power hitting, former famous person. In this case, Manny Ramirez.

    Most baseball insiders lauded the deal, noting that Mr. Manny had been injured the last two seasons and appeared due for a bounce back (at least of the dead cat variety). So the Rays signed Ramirez up, installed him in left, and scheduled his prerequisite bobble-head day for May 29.

    He didn't even make it April 29. After failing a test for PEDs, Ramirez abruptly retired on April 8 (yes, one week into the season), leaving the Rays in a bind. Not ready to bring in their young left field prospect, Desmond Jennings, the Rays needed a fast fix. They turned to a very unlikely source: former Cubs benchwarmer Sam Fuld.

    But you knew that already. It's his profile after all. But did you know he has Type I diabetes, grew up in the non-baseball-hotbed of New Hampshire, and is half Jewish?

    So Fuld was unlikely to ever be a major league player. Let alone an everyday one. And yet, as of this writing, he's putting up a .310/.411/.525 line. Which is an MVP year if he keeps it up. Which, of course he won't. Still, it makes for a much better story than "Overpaid, overcoddled man-child takes the money and runs. Again."

    And what of the now inappropriate bobble-head day? Well now it's Super-Sam Fuld Cape day. Frankly, no matter how long this lasts, we can't think of a better replacement.

    Verdict: Borderline Jew.

    May 5, 2011

    See Also

    Wade Boggs

    Adam Greenberg

    Ryan Kalish

    Gabe Kapler

    Ben Zobrist
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