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    About the Jew Score
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    Jew Score:




    As far as Biblical figures go, we have a bone to pick with everyone from Adam to Jesus (ESPECIALLY Jesus). There's one exception: Moses. Hard to nitpick Moses. Sure, he's the reason we have to eat matzah for the next week. But that's a small price to pay for Exodus. Exodus... Good times.

    So how could we deny Moses the perfect Jew Score? Let's start at the K (kvell). An obvious 5/5 here. Sure, his navigational skills were lacking once he got out of Egypt, and talking to firewood is a bit... eccentric, but we'll let it go. Seriously, Exodus... Good times.

    The I (internal) Score is clearly a 5/5 too. After all, Moses traces his roots all the way back to Abraham. Can't get more Jewish blood than that.

    So we get to the O (outside) Score. And here... yep, here we have to knock a point off perfection. You see, Moses wasn't exactly raised Jewish, with the Pharaoh as an adoptive father and all. Sure, for the rest of his life he was an exemplary Jew, but how can we give a perfect O Score to someone who didn't even know he was a Jew until he was an adult?

    Still, 14/15 is not too shabby. Now, it's no Mel Brooks, but then again, who is?

    Verdict: Jew.

    April 9, 2009

    See Also



    Mel Brooks

    King David

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