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    Did you have a good Christmas, goyim? Got some nice presents in your stockings — toothbrushes or... breath mints? What else fits a stocking? No coal for you this year, we hope!

    You should be happy if you got coal, goyim, and not just because it can be used to heat your house or draw macabre landscapes when the mood strikes. Coal is actually not the worst outcome of your Christmas traditions. Have you heard of Krampus?

    No, not Grampus (that's another name for a type of dolphin), Krampus. He is Santa's sidekick in regions of central Europe, mostly Germany. And knowing those pesky Germans like we do... well, just look at the picture to the left. That's Krampus. You wish he was a dolphin!

    So, according to ze Germans, Santa (err... St. Nicholas) is accompanied by Krampus on his visit to children's homes. If the kids have been nice, St. Nick gives them gifts. If they have been naughty, Krampus... well, one option is coal. Another one is that he grabs the child, puts them in a bag, and takes them to his cave, where he... you know, let your imagination run wild. You wish he stopped at coal!

    And here is where we have to ask... because we definitely have to ask, right, Germans?

    Whew. Enjoy your freaky Christmas traditions, goyim!

    Verdict: Not a Jew.

    December 25, 2023

    See Also

    Santa Claus

    The Devil

    The Grinch


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