There are bagels at work on Mondays (no, they don't make Mondays any better), and there is always one that sticks out from an array of sesame seeded, poppy seeded, cinnamon raisin (eww)... Pumpernickel, lying there in all its dark glory. No one ever takes the pumpernickel.

Should we take the pumpernickel? After all, its a staple of American Jewish cuisine!

That it may be, but its origins stem from (where else with a name like that?) Germany. So what does "pumpernickel" mean? Researchers are not sure, but one word keeps bubbling up:

Fart.

"Pumpernickel", like many German words, is compound, with "pumper" meaning, yes, break wind, cut the cheese, pass gas: fart! (That does make sense, considering how dense that bread is.) "Nickel", the second part, is a variation of "Nicholas", an allusion to a demon or devil. (Apparently, that's the name Germans associate with evil spirits. Don't write to us, Nicks and Nicholases, write to Germans!)

So, pumpernickel = devil's fart. At least by one theory.

We took the pumpernickel bagel. It wasn't good.