Verdict: Barely a Jew Not a Jew.

We usually end with the verdict, but here, we feel we need to start with it. You see, some people don't actually read the profiles (the nerve!), skim straight to the verdict, and assume.

Sometimes, that verdict is "Barely a Jew", so these people assume that we claim the person is Jewish. Not so! "Barely a Jew" is usually for people who have a trace of Jewish ancestry, but do not self-identify as Jews.

Which brings us to Paul Ryan. The stout pork chop that is currently serving in one of the highest offices of the land is clearly, obviously goyishe. And yet, when he had his ancestry traced, it came out as 3% Jewish. So is that... "Barely a Jew"?

3% is what, about 1/32? One great-great-great-grandparent? That would usually qualify as "Barely a Jew"...

Except that these DNA tests are not exactly accurate. They give a lot of false positives, with a margin of error estimated at... 3%. So, to reiterate: