We took the kids to see "Finding Dory", which ended in a huge disappointment. Not for the kids, natch, they loved every minute of it. For us; "Dory" was pointless, irrelevant, and forgettable. And we usually love Pixar! This was just so... bleh.

We're in the minority here; it's easily over 90% at Rotten Tomatoes. Critics and audiences are loving it. It's just that... "Finding Nemo" was funny, sad, exciting, scary, surprising, memorable, and great. "Dory" tries so hard to be all these things and fails miserably.

Alright, let's step out of the critic's chair and deal what we came here to figure out: is Dory Jewish? We previously proclaimed Marlin and Nemo to be so, because of Albert Brooks, QED. Dory is voiced by Ellen DeGeneres, who is as goyishe as they get. But her parents are Diane Keaton and Eugene Levy... aha! Keaton, of course, is goyishe herself, but she cohabited with a rather Jewy Jew for a long while. Levy? If we could give a 6 for an O Score, he would be the recipient.

So, clearly, Dory comes from a mixed family, with a goyishe mother and a Jewish father. This makes her... let's say Borderline Jew.

We just wish we didn't have to sit through the movie to figure it out.