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    Snooki

    Jew Score:
    1

    I1

    O0

    K0
    (Nicole Polizzi)
    November 23, 1987 —

    Somewhere, under a bridge in Staten Island...

    Papa Troll: I'm home, wife!

    Mama Troll: How was your day, dear?

    Papa: Just the pits! Where's that beer?

    Mama: I scrounged four bottles today. Here, I mixed them for you.

    Papa: (gulps down) You ask how my day was? My day was crap! Some of these people tried to cross the bridge...

    Mama: What people?

    Papa: You know WHAT people!

    Mama: Oh...

    Papa: They try to cross the bridge, and I say to them, I say pay the toll, and they try to jew me down!

    Mama: Dear, you know they are like that...

    Papa: Is there more beer?

    Snooki enters.

    Snooki: Hi, daddy! Hi, mommy! I got some exciting news!

    Papa: You know what would be exciting news? Another fucking beer.

    Snooki: Oh, daddy! The beer can wait! The test results finally came!

    Papa: Let me guess. Chlamydia.

    Mama: Dear...

    Snooki: (laughs) No, daddy, those results are not for another week! This was my DNA test!

    Papa: D-N-what? What kind of a disease is that?

    Snooki: It's not a disease, daddy! You know I'm having a baby...

    Papa: (mumbles) The spawn of Satan...

    Snooki: And I wanted to find out what my heritance was! Here, read!

    Papa Troll puts on reading glasses.

    Papa: I can't make it out.

    Snooki: I'll help you! See, it says I'm part Romani?

    Papa: We call it I-talian.

    Snooki: No, papa. Romani! I asked on the street corner. That means gypsy!

    Papa: I'll be damned!

    Snooki: And that's not all! Look here! I got some Asian in me!

    Papa: (mumbles) You had some Asian in you last week...

    Snooki: And here, look, I'm part Jew!

    Papa: Let me see that! (grabs paper) Ashken-Nazi? What the fuck is Ashken-Nazi?

    Snooki: I dunno, it's some Jew thing!

    Papa: Some Jew thing? SOME JEW THING! I'm no fucking Jew! It must come from your side of the family, wife! No wonder you always defend them!

    Mama: Snookums is adopted, dear.

    Papa: Oh, right, I forgot. Now where the fuck is that beer?

    Verdict: Not a Jew.

    December 26, 2014

    See Also

    Justin Bieber

    Rebecca Black

    Dustin Diamond

    Jon Gosselin

    Schlitzie
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