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    Christina Aguilera

    Jew Score:



    December 18, 1980 —

    "It may have been gold in the streets for my grandparents, it may have been a chicken in every pot for my father and mother, but to me, America is a shikse nestling under your arm whispering love love love love love." — Philip Roth, "Portnoy's Complaint"

    When we heard that Christina Aguilera had given her baby son a Hebrew name (Liron), we were concerned. After all, the last thing we need is another questionably talented rock diva convinced that calling herself a Kabbalist makes her cool (Remember ladies, the really cool people aren't pretend-Jews, they ARE Jews). But we were mistaken. It's the influence of her husband, Jordan Bratman: a full-fledged Jew.

    To which we can only say one thing:

    Way to go, Jordan!

    Seriously, if you're going to marry a shiksa, the least you can do is pick someone we can all appreciate. Now, do you have a brother, so that you could set up Beyonce with him?

    (Editor's update: Now divorced! What happened, Christina?)

    Verdict: Not a Jew.

    March 3, 2008

    See Also

    Adam Levine


    Philip Roth

    Britney Spears

    Taylor Swift
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