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    Lars Ulrich

    Jew Score:



    December 26, 1963 —

    Jewish men (and some women)!

    You better sit down for this. We got some terrible, terrible news.

    There is a Jewish baldness gene.

    We'll let that sink in for a moment.

    Yes, scientists proved it. You, Jewish men (and some women) are at a bigger risk of going bald just because of genetics. Don't believe it? Look around your Jewish friends. Are more of them sporting cleaner heads than the general populace? We thought so.

    Just take a look at this full, luscious head of hair. That's Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich in the 80s. And this is him now. We know what you are saying: Ulrich is only a quarter Jewish. Perhaps the baldness comes from his Danish genes! Sure, it's possible. But we doubt it. Oh, we doubt it...

    Sorry for the news, Jewish men (and some women).

    Verdict: Barely a Jew.

    May 2, 2014

    See Also

    Cliff Burton

    Dave Mustaine

    Axl Rose

    David Lee Roth

    Lars von Trier
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