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    Bob Nystrom

    Jew Score:



    October 10, 1952 —

    Welcome, everyone, to the Jewies, the third annual Jew or Not Jew Awards! Apologies for not holding the ceremony last year, it's very hard to produce such glamorous events in this economy... But thanks to our new sponsor, Schlomo's Celery Soda, we're back! Schlomo's Celery Soda, it's not entirely undrinkable!

    Let's get right to it. The nominees for Best Mustache (Male) are... Oh, why do I even bother reading the nominees, everyone knows Geraldo Rivera wins this every year. No need for suspense here, folks, our winner is... Ger... What? There must be a mistake! Let me confer with the judges...

    No, folks, it looks like they have it right. In a stunning upset, the Best Mustache (Male) award goes to hockey player Bob Nystrom, yes, a Swedish Canadian Jew! Who knew such existed... Bob is not here to accept this lofty honor, which we hope he will treasure as much as his four Stanley Cup championships... Better luck next year, right, Geraldo? You might want to wash down your sorrows with Schlomo's Celery Soda. Schlomo's Celery Soda, almost as delicious as real celery!

    And now, moving on to the Best Mustache (Female) award... Boy, there are lots of candidates here, I give you that!

    Verdict: Jew.

    July 1, 2011

    See Also Score Profiled
    Brad Garrett 11 July 16, 2012
    Geraldo Rivera 6 September 1, 2006
    Jakob Silfverberg 5 February 19, 2014
    Sylvester Stallone 4 July 1, 2008
    Ronnie Stern 9 March 4, 2009
    © Jew or Not Jew, 2006-2014. j...@jewornotjew.com.