We've made a lot of sacrifices for this website. Too many to count, trust us.
Today, we made the biggest sacrifice of them all.
We watched an episode "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers". For you, dear readers. For you.
MMPR was the American version (created by Israelis!) of a Japanese television series featuring a team on superheroes. There was the Blue Ranger, the sensitive one. The Pink Ranger, the flamboyant one. The Black Ranger, the token black one. Those are our best guesses. There were definitely colors involved.
It was stupefyingly terrible. Kids in the 90s ate it up.
So why did watch this dreck, and now? Well, we were informed that the Power Rangers' archenemy, Lord Zedd, was married in a Jewish ceremony, with the yarmulke, the glass stepping, and the Hava Negila. This we had to see.
We brought a barf bucket, just in case. We watched through the net of our fingers. We felt our IQ drop ten points. We used the bucket.
So here is what we saw, dear readers: Yarmulke? No. Glass stepping? No. Hava Negila? Yes. Does that make Lord Zedd Jewish? Not by a long shot. We've heard Hava Negila played at goyishe weddings. It's a festive song, after all.
We hope that satisfies you, dear readers. But we beg you: no more horrible sacrifices.