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    Mikhail Prokhorov

    Jew Score:
    7

    I2

    O2

    K3
    May 3, 1965 —

    If you live (as some of us) in the great state of New Jersey, you might not realize that we have a professional basketball team.

    Yes, a real, honest-to-G-d professional basketball team. In the NBA, not some minor league. They are called the New Jersey Nets. Ring a bell? No, not the Knicks. The Nets. No, we're not making it up. Look it up. We'll wait.

    So yes, the Nets, a putrid sports franchise if there ever was one, the ugly step-sister to the not-exactly-pretty-herself-but-at-least-she-is-loaded Knicks. Even when the Nets were making the NBA finals in the early 2000s, people didn't care. Now, coming off one of the worst seasons in league history? Bleh.

    Or so we thought. For the Nets were recently bought by Russian, 6-foot-8, super-duper-rich, jet-ski-jumping, Ivan-Drago-sounding, nickel-mining, flocked-by-beautiful-women, quarter-Jewish, many-times-over-billionaire, Mikhail Prokhorov. Talk about excitement! Talk about basketball in New Jersey!

    Talk about Prokhorov's desire to move the Nets to Brooklyn as soon as possible.

    So much for the realization.

    (Editor's update: So much for the New Jersey Nets...)

    Verdict: Barely a Jew.

    December 17, 2010

    See Also

    Roman Abramovich

    Boris Berezovsky

    Lawrence Frank

    Dmitry Medvedev

    Semion Mogilevich
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