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    About the Jew Score
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    David Schwimmer

    Jew Score:



    November 2, 1966 —

    Is the "Chanukah Armadillo" from Friends the worst episode of television ever?

    Every show is required by law to have a Christmas episode. It's FCC policy, donchaknow. On the other hand, the Chanukah episode is, at best, a rare bird spotted only by the most patient, diligent observer (there's Rugrats and... Rugrats). Heck, even the mere mention of Chanukah is a rare treat — like hearing an un-bleeped curse word during Wheel of Fortune ("The White House? Fuck!").

    Which is what makes that stupid, unbearable armadillo episode so galling. Bad enough to do a Christmas episode (again. like they haven't done it enough), but to do one about how lame Chanukah is? Come on.

    Look, we're all Jews here. We can admit that Chanukah is a dopey, second-rate, Christmas wannabe. We don't love Chanukah. No one above the age of nine really does. But that doesn't mean you get to take shots at it, Friends. It's like picking on the orphaned fat kid with a speech impediment. It's just too easy. Too cruel. And really, of all people, made-from-the-Jew-mold-David Schwimmer should have known better (and yes, we just implied we had higher expectations for David Schwimmer. Unlike, y'know, the rest of the planet).

    But can we really say this was worse than "My Mother the Car" or "The Brady Bunch Variety Hour" or *gasp* "Homeboys in Outer Space"? Well, none of them did us the injustice of having an episode that was 30 minutes (OK, 22 minus commercials) of painful boredom AND kicked our religion in the metaphysical groin at the same time.

    So we say yes.

    Verdict: Jew.

    October 19, 2010

    See Also

    Jennifer Aniston

    Ross and Monica Geller

    Rachel Green

    Lisa Kudrow

    Melman Menkowitz
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