There are many many terrible things in this world. Terrorism. Darfur. American Idol.
On that scale of things, the remake of "The Karate Kid" doesn't measure up.
But please indulge us for a moment.
WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS SHIT?
Here we have "The Karate Kid", a perfectly good movie. A movie that is still rewatchable time and again, even 25 years later. A movie that is one of the defining films for so many boys who grew up in the 80s.
And fine, remake it, but why are they doing such a half-assed job of it? Why the hell is it even called "Karate Kid"? The kid in the new one goes to China. CHINA. Karate is a Japanese martial art. If anything, the kid learns kung fu. So why not call it "The Kung Fu Kid (inspired by The Karate Kid)", and just go with that?
And what's with that kid? Will Smith's son? Really? Thanks a lot, Fresh Prince, for shoving your little twerp down our throats. Even if he is a bit Jewish, for his mother, Jada Pinkett Smith, supposedly has Portuguese Jewish ancestry. Wait, what's this... JADA? Ha ha ha ha! He is named after his mother! Good luck living that up, "Karate Kid".
SERIOUSLY, FUCK THIS SHIT.