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    Chesty Morgan

    Jew Score:



    (Liliana Wilczkowska / Lillian Stello)
    October 15, 1937 —

    Lillian is a young Polish girl. Her parents own the local department store. The Germans invade in 1939 and grab her mother off the street. Gone forever. Her father is murdered during an uprising. Lillian somehow escapes to Israel.

    The End?

    Not by a long shot. In Israel, Lillian meets a nice, young American and after a whirlwind romance they marry and move to New York City. They have two children. Her husband is a butcher and they're doing well. Then she gets a phone call from the police. Hoodlums shepherded her husband into his own icebox and murdered him as part of a robbery. Lillian considers suicide.

    The End?

    Nope. Lillian's almost comically large breasts get her the attention of a number of suitors, including several who own burlesque houses — the ancestors of strip clubs. Lillian becomes Chesty Morgan: star of stage and film. She makes $6000 a week. She meets Federico Fellini and appears in one of his movies. She travels the world.

    The End?

    Not yet. Lillian marries a baseball umpire, but they divorce. Then her oldest daughter is killed in a car accident. She retires in 1991 and moves to Florida, like all good Jews. She loves Home Depot and Bill O'Reilly. She does her own roof repairs and drives a pickup truck. Nameless. Fading beyond memory.

    The End?

    Verdict: Jew.

    May 20, 2010

    See Also

    Pamela Anderson

    Soleil Moon Frye

    Zsa Zsa Gabor

    Daphne Rosen

    Lindsey Vuolo
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