It's time for another installment of our "Ask Jew or Not Jew" feature, where young readers write in for advice. Here's a letter we recently received.
Dear Jew or Not Jew, I don't know what to do! I just found out that I was adopted and that my birth parents are NOT Jewish! I already had my future planned out: I was going to attend Brandeis in the fall and go to dental school after that... Now, I have no idea what to do! Am I Jewish? Am I goy? Please help... — Jacob
Lifschitz(?), 17, Brookline, Massachusetts
first of all, thank you for turning to us in a time of crisis. G-d knows, a somewhat humorous Jew-finding website is the place to answer such questions.
You really have to ask yourself, even with these findings, do you FEEL Jewish? Take a look at actor Orlando Bloom. When he was a child, he thought his father was Jewish novelist Harry Saul Bloom. But then his mother revealed that the real father is some goy named Colin Stone, a family "friend". Since then, Orlando has shed all Jewish roots, be they inherited or imagined. For him, it was the right thing to do. Stupid elf.
So we suggest to get a good night's sleep, wake up refreshed, look in the mirror, and ask yourself, do you see a Jew? And do let us know how it works out.
Besides, believe it or not, goyim are allowed to be dentists as well.
Thanks again for writing,
Jew or Not Jew.