All right, so there are no Jewish horses. (OK, there might be some Jewish horses, but they probably lag behind their goyim counterparts. Kinda like we did when we ran laps in gym class.)

But are there Jewish jockeys? Seriously... it's not like being a jockey requires one to be tall or fast. Jockeys are short, plucky creatures who wear hats. Sounds like Jews, doesn't it? (Or gnomes. Jewish gnomes? Hmmmm.)

The answer to that (Jewish jockeys, not Jewish gnomes. We'll file the latter for future research) is a resounding "yes". (Not really resounding. There have been some Jewish jockeys. "Some" might be too strong of a word.)

Well, have those Jewish jockeys ever won anything? Not the Kentucky Derby. But Willie Harmatz won the Preakness in 1959. And in 1971, Walter Blum rode Pass Catcher at Belmont to an upset victory to deny Canonero II the Triple Crown. He retired with over 4000 victories (that seems like a lot), and was named to the Racing Hall of Fame.

Which leaves us with only one question: how the heck does that happen? Seriously, what kind of self-respecting Jewish mother lets her beloved boytchik ride a HORSE for a living?

Verdict: Jew.

July 11, 2009