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    About the Jew Score
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    David Letterman

    Jew Score:



    April 12, 1947 —

    "Straight from the home office in Haifa, Israel, the Top Ten Signs You Might Not Be Jewish. Here we go,

    #10: You've never conducted a symphony orchestra using just your nose.

    #9: Two words: pimento loaf.

    #8: You spend every Sunday morning on a stage handing out crackers and wine.

    #7: You actually like your family.

    #6: You ate a bacon cheeseburger. On a Friday night. With shrimp. And mayo.

    #5: Last Christmas you came downstairs and didn't find reindeer feces all over your living room.

    #4: You thought Fiddler on the Roof was about the Amish.

    #3: Klezmer? I don't even know 'er!

    #2: You wake up in the morning and think to yourself, 'you know who's a really good guy? Jesus.'

    And the #1 sign you might not be Jewish is....."

    (drum roll)

    "You're me!"

    Verdict: Sadly, Not a Jew.

    June 22, 2009

    See Also

    Stephen Colbert

    Jimmy Fallon

    Chelsea Handler

    Bill Maher

    Jon Stewart
    © Jew or Not Jew, 2006-2024.