In the National Hockey League, a team usually plays twelve forwards in a game. Those forwards are usually broken up into four lines.

The first line has the team's best three players.

The second line has the team's... second best three players.

The third line has the team's best defensive players, and usually matches up against the opponent's first line.

The fourth line has the scrubs.

Well, let's rephrase that. It usually has two scrubs and a goon. The goon can't skate, plays at most five minutes a game, and scores an average of two goals a year... those goals coming off lucky bounces of their skates. Oh, and a mullet. The goon usually has a mullet.

Why is the goon there? It's to pummel the other team's goon into smithereens. Yep, that's professional hockey. Go figure.

Of course, such a goon seems very unlikely to be Jewish. But what do you know? Ronnie Stern, who spent 12 years dropping the gloves for the Vancouver Canucks, Calgary Flames, and San Jose Sharks, is a Jew. Go figure is right.