There is an episode of the X-Files, a good one actually, where Mulder (played by David Duchovny, pictured to the left) and Scully (Gillian Anderson: Not a Jew), visit a group of circus freaks to solve a murder mystery.

At one point, Scully is talking to a suspect who says that he and his fellow freaks are a dying breed. A future of genetic engineering means we're "all going to look like him" and points to Duchovny.

It's a funny, somewhat poignant moment. And it works. If they could print people, well, that's pretty close to what you'd get: David Duchovny — generic white American male. Now with kung-fu grip!

So imagine our surprise (pleasant, really, we tend to like his work) when we looked at the back of his box and found — gasp! — made in Israel.

Well, not really. But Duchovny's grandparents were Russian Jews, which, despite that Russian last name, was a surprise to us here at JONJ Headquarters. The generic white American male has Jewish blood? Now that's assimilation.

The freak shakes his head at Scully, eyes welling with disdain. "Imagine going through your whole life looking like him."

Eh, we'd find a way to live with it.