OK, goyim, you got us.

There is a worldwide Jewish conspiracy.

But it has nothing to do with the eight richest men on Earth sitting in a bunker underneath Switzerland, plotting world domination.

No, the worldwide Jewish conspiracy has only one goal: to capture your beautiful women and make them one of us.

You see, us Jews are not allowed to preach our religion to anyone. Even to our potential spouse. They have to decide for themselves whether to take the plunge.

Yet here they are — from the stunning Marilyn Monroe to the gorgeous Elizabeth Banks — trading their Matthews for Moishes. Can we explain it? No. Will we still be taking advantage of it? Oh, HELL yeah.

Best. Conspiracy. Ever.

Verdict: Jew.

November 24, 2008