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    Nim Chimpsky

    Jew Score:



    November 19, 1973 – March 10, 2000

    One of the great forgotten websites of the early Internet is The Monkey Shakespeare Simulator, which attempted to simulate the Infinite Monkey Theorem:

    An infinite amount of monkeys on typewriters given an infinite amount of time will eventually accidentally type out the complete works of Shakespeare.

    Alas, the website maxed out at 24 characters of "Henry IV, Part 2" after "2,737,850 million billion billion billion monkey-years". Not even close to infinity.

    We guarantee that our own Monkey Shakespeare Simulator will not improve on that, but give it a whirl! We named it after Nim Chimpsky, the monkey who tried to develop human language. (Who, in turn, is named after self-loathing Jew Noam Chomsky.) Because we also do not have infinite time, we limited our monkeys to the 26 letters, ignoring capitalization, spaces, and punctuation... and limited Shakespeare's library to 133 of his most well-known quotes.

    Verdict: Not a Jew.

    May 18, 2022

    See Also

    Noam Chomsky

    Francine Frensky

    Curious George

    William Shakespeare

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