Throughout their 90-year history, the Chicago Bears did not have good luck with quarterbacks.

They made their last Super Bowl with the mediocre-at-best Rex Grossman (as we previously discussed, not a Jew).

They won their only Super Bowl with the overrated Jim McMahon (obviously, not a Jew).

Their recent QB triumvirate of Grossman, Kyle Orton, and Brian Griese (not a Jew, not a Jew) made their fans long for the average days of Jim Harbaugh and Erik Kramer (not a... you get the idea).

To find a good Bears quarterback, you need to go back to the 1940s and Sid Luckman (you guessed it... a Jew!) And Luckman was more than just a good quarterback — he was a great quarterback. MVP, 4-time NFL champion, and still holds the record for most touchdown passed in a game. And a rarity: a member of both the Pro Football Hall of Fame and an International Jewish Sports Hall of Fame.

So, Bears management, you know what to do. Find that young Jewish up-and-comer and hand him the reigns.

On second thought... Don't. Stick with Grossman and Orton.

Verdict: Jew.

September 1, 2008