Updated M/W/F
Latest Profile
» Semyon Gitler
Random Profile
» Surprise Me!
Archive Profile
» Madeleine Kunin
  • Actors
  • Actresses
  • Artists
  • Athletes and Coaches
  • Businesspeople
  • Comedians
  • Directors
  • Fictional Characters
  • Historical Figures
  • Media
  • Musicians and Singers
  • Politicians
  • Religious Figures
  • Scientists
  • Sociopaths
  • Writers
  • [Uncategorized]

    List by Name
    List by Score
    List by Date
    About the Jew Score
    Suggestion Box
    Aidan Gallagher

    Jew Score:



    September 18, 2003 —

    Today, we're going to apply the James Wilson Law to "The Umbrella Academy". For those new to our website, the James Wilson Law states that in an ensemble cast of fictional characters, one of them must be Jewish. With its seven numbered superheroes, what a diverse ensemble cast "The Umbrella Academy" has!

    Before anyone claims that we dismiss characters due to their race, we will cry shenanigans. We dismiss Number Two (Diego) not because he is Hispanic, but because he is a little dense. Number Three (Allison) is out not because she is Black, but because she sends out goyishe vibes. Number Six (Ben) is dismissed not because he is Asian, but because he channels the Kraken, and shellfish clearly can't be Jewish.

    Number Four (Klaus) is out because he talks to the dead, which is not a concept in Judaism. Number One (Luther) is, well, named Luther, so he is dismissed as well. Number Seven (Vanya) spent the whole season living on a farm... and no Jew, in their right mind or not, would ever do that.

    Which leaves us with Number Five (just Five), the breakthrough character of the show. An old man trapped in a teenager's body, he made a star out of previously-unknown child actor Aidan Gallagher. And, despite seeming that he will get a perfect score on IrishOrNotIrish.com, Gallagher is actually Jewish in real life!

    Hooray for another successful application of the James Wilson Law!

    Verdict: Jew.

    August 31, 2020

    See Also

    Aya Cash

    Adam Godley

    Kwesi Weisberg-Abban

    James Wilson

    Finn Wolfhard
    © Jew or Not Jew, 2006-2024.