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    Jeffrey Epstein

    Jew Score:



    January 20, 1953 – August 10, 2019

    The afterlife, maybe.

    Peter: Hey there, Moishe.

    Moses: Hey, Pete. How is it hanging?

    Peter: Not bad at all. Hey, can you take a look at this one? I think he is one of yours.

    Moses: No, I don't think so. Definitely not.

    Peter: Pretty sure he is, Moishe. Don't you get all the -steins?

    Moses: Come on, Pete. Not all -steins are Jewish. Ever heard of David Eckstein? Baseball player.

    Peter: Not a fan of baseball.

    Moses: Well, when he gets here, don't send him to me. He is all yours.

    Peter: Come on, Moishe! I don't know about Eckstein, but this EPSTEIN is yours. I checked.

    Moses: Shit.

    Peter: Language, Moishe!

    Moses: Motherfucking shit. He IS one of us, isn't he? What the fuck are we gonna do?

    Peter: You're gonna have to process him?

    Moses: Process him? We don't process anyone, Pete. It's just an eternity of nothingness for us Jews. If you've been good: nothing. If you've been a piece of shit like this guy: nothing.

    Peter: That doesn't sound fair...

    Moses: There is no fairness in life, Peter. In death, we're all equal.

    Peter: Shit.

    Moses: Well, yeah, shit.

    Peter: So what are you gonna do?

    Moses: Maybe we can call downstairs and see if there is a loophole?

    Peter: Might be worth a try. Hey, anyone has Beelzebub's number?

    Verdict: Sadly, a Jew.

    August 16, 2019

    See Also

    Alan Dershowitz

    Jared Fogle

    Bernie Madoff

    Donald Trump

    Harvey Weinstein
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