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    Abe Hollandersky

    Jew Score:



    December 3, 1887 – November 1, 1966

    For a long time, Abe "The Newsboy" Hollandersky was listed in the Guinness Book of Records for fighting the most boxing matches: a cool 1039. No one knows if that number is true, and boxing records don't exactly show him to be THAT prolific, so Abe's bouts have disappeared from the record books and became stuff of legends.

    One can call his career legendary as well: it started when young Abe sold a newspaper (hence the nickname) to Teddy Roosevelt aboard the presidential yacht. Roosevelt asked if Abe was a boxer, so a boxer he became. "The Newsboy" criss-crossed the globe on Navy ships, fighting all over the world.

    He also wrestled; there are some claims that he was once a welterweight world champion. We'll leave that alone, as we move to the most important parts of Abe's career:

    He boxed a kangaroo. And a bear.

    Don't worry, dear readers, we won't leave you in suspense! Abe lost to the kangaroo, which knocked him out of the ring with a swing of its tail. But the bear was no match for the Polish-born Jew: somehow, he hit the animal in the nose. The confused bear walked out of the ring, and Abe was declared the winner.

    Stuff of legends, we tell you.

    Verdict: Jew.

    November 20, 2017

    See Also

    Zishe Breitbart

    Ashrita Furman

    Joe Greenstein

    Harry Harris

    Maxie Rosenbloom
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