DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband's family is Jewish. Is it alright to invite them for Christmas? If so, should I give them gifts?
GENTLE READER: Yes, it's alright to invite them for Christmas. Keep the religious aspect to a minimum, and please don't sing any carols. Of course, you should give them gifts. What kind of a host would you be otherwise?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Everyone assumes I'm Jewish because of my overtly Jewish last name. How do I explain I'm not a Jew without offending anyone?
GENTLE READER: Don't. Embrace the glory of Jewishness, even if it is not real.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Like many Jewish men, my boyfriend is incredibly hairy. How do I ask him to shave his body?
GENTLE READER: Errr.... errr... we'll leave it for the REAL Miss Manners to answer that one.