Sports journalists are being replaced by robots. It's sad, but true: computer software is now being used to write game reports.

So we're gonna get ahead of the curve: create our own software to write profiles. And what better place to start than the world of sport! Our robot has written profiles for football, baseball, basketball, hockey, and soccer!

Unless you closely follow professional soccer, you probably haven't heard of Daniel Steres. He is a rather useful role player who plays central defense for the Los Angeles Galaxy. Last year, Steres played in 31 games and scored 1 goal. He is known for his defense.

Unless you closely follow Daniel Steres, you wouldn't think that he is Jewish. Well, he is! Steres' family comes from Los Angeles. He is one of few Jewish players in MLS.

Oy, vey! What a surprising Jew!

Well, looks like we're out of a job. Joke's on you, robots: it doesn't pay a cent!