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    Tiago Splitter

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    January 1, 1985 —

    Sports journalists are being replaced by robots. It's sad, but true: computer software is now being used to write game reports.

    So we're gonna get ahead of the curve: create our own software to write profiles. And what better place to start than the world of sport! Our robot has written profiles for football, baseball, basketball, hockey, and soccer!

    Unless you closely follow professional basketball, you probably haven't heard of Tiago Splitter. He is a rather useful role player who plays power forward for the Philadelphia 76ers. Last year, Splitter played in 8 games and scored 5 points per game. He is known for his defense.

    Unless you closely follow Tiago Splitter, you wouldn't think that he is Jewish. Well, he is! Splitter's family comes from Brazil. He is one of few Jewish players in the NBA.

    Oy, vey! What a surprising Jew!

    Well, looks like we're out of a job. Joke's on you, robots: it doesn't pay a cent!

    Verdict: Barely a Jew.

    July 21, 2017

    See Also

    Omri Casspi

    Willie Cauley-Stein

    Jordan Farmar

    Meyers Leonard

    Amar'e Stoudemire
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