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    ? – 61 CE

    (Saint) Barnabas is pictured on the left. No, this is probably not what he looked like, but this is what we have to go by. Neatly-trimmed beard and everything.

    Alternatively, we can go with this. EWWWWWWWWWW.

    You see, Barnabas, who was born a Jew on Cyprus, was an early Christian zealot. He and Saint Paul walked around, converting the heathens. (Makings of a buddy road trip comedy right there. Paul loses the luggage on Majorca! Barnabas gets seduced by a gaggle of nuns! Hilarity ensues?)

    Being a Christian saint, this means: special relics! This skull is located in Conca dei Marini, a lovely seaside town in Italy. (Come for the beach, stay for the Christian artifacts!)

    Now, most of these relics are fakes, so it's highly unlikely that the skull is Barnabas'. That being said, as disgusting as it is, it's no match for the Holy Prepuce, which is Jesus' supposed...

    You know, look that one up on your time. We're creeped out enough by the skull.

    Verdict: Barely a Jew.

    October 24, 2016

    See Also

    Vladimir Lenin

    Polemon II

    Saint Paul

    Andre Tchaikowsky

    Pancho Villa
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