Hey you, Rosie O'Donnell!

Yes, you, the talentless hack!

How do we make it clear for you...

YOU ARE NOT A JEW!

Oh, sure, you can study Kabbalah all you want and trot to Israel alongside your pal Madonna. But that alone doesn't make you a Jew. Saying you've always felt Jewish doesn't either. And telling Jewish jokes... don't get us started.

Oh no, you got us started. Seriously, why do you have to do Jewish jokes? You're Irish Catholic. There's so much potential humor there. The pope. 12-children families. Priests. Potatoes.

But no, potato humor is not good enough for you. And you know, we might have been willing to let it go if your Jewish jokes were remotely funny. But they are not. And you are not.

YOU ARE NOT A JEW!