If there was any justice in the world, today's profilee would be named Kyle Obstein.
He would be from a nice Jewish home in the midwest and be 6'5". This Obstein fellow would be preternaturally good at basketball, especially passing. He would play his college game at Kansas and be drafted by the Los Angeles Clippers.
There, he would hook up with Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan to become part of the team known as Lob City. Every night, we would be regaled with highlights of the great Kyle Obstein setting up alley-oops and dunks for his teammates.
We would call him Lobstein. The Jewish King of the lob pass. An NBA star.
Instead, we've got Kyle Lobstein, middling goyishe starter for the Detroit Tigers.
The world just isn't fair.