On a season 20 episode of The Simpsons, entitled "Wedding for Disaster", a dark secret is revealed about Helen Lovejoy. Let's analyze.

Helen is married to Reverend Timothy Lovejoy. Her catchphrase is "Won't somebody please think of the children?!". She is a gossipy, Jesus-loving crank. On the Jew-to-goy scale (Krusty to Flanders), she is as goyishe as it gets.

And yet, in that episode, it is revealed that her maiden name is Schwartzbaum. Helen gasps at the revelation.

So, was Helen born Jewish? It seems implied. However, that last name doesn't necessarily have to be. While both "Schwartz" and "Baum" can be Jewish, they are often goyishe as well (take Berthold Schwartz and L. Frank Baum). One thing for sure, the name has roots in Germany. Perhaps Helen was gasping at that.

Furthermore, that episode uncovers another secret about Helen. Her real first name is Harold.

We'll leave that discussion to MaleOrNotMale.com...