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    Amy Schumer

    Jew Score:



    June 1, 1981 —

    As hard as we try to get Inside Amy, we can't really get Inside Amy.

    Oh, don't get us wrong, Amy is pretty cute, and rather funny, but as soon as we try to get Inside, it all becomes very complex.

    That's alright, we say, we'll give it another shot. So a week passes, and here she is — same time, same place — and we're once again trying to get Inside Amy. And it's just not happening!

    Amy, we say. This relationship we're having, it's a little one-sided, no? We welcome you to our home. We lie in our bed, watching you. You smile... we return it, but you don't see. You laugh... we laugh, but you don't hear. You even told us you were Jewish, and we thought — yes, this is the final piece! — and yet... Come on, Amy, just let us get Inside!

    Maybe the time has come to end it. It's not you, Amy, it's us! We tried, Amy, we tried so hard!

    Why, oh why, can't we get Inside Amy?

    Verdict: Jew.

    July 31, 2013

    See Also

    Rachel Bloom

    Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson

    Chuck Schumer

    Iliza Shlesinger

    Sarah Silverman
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