Ah, the playground. Such happy memories.

The rusted equipment. The urinary sandbox. The unending pain of crashing full speed into black pavement. The constant teasing and name calling...

Oh who are we kidding. Playground sucked. Screw you, playground.

Of course, when we get older, we leave all those things behind. Y'know, usually. One place that apparently hasn't? The US Senate. For instance, during the 1998 campaign for Senator of New York, incumbent Al D'Amato referred to his opponent Chuck Schumer as a "putz-head".

Really? Putz-head? Did he throw a kickball in Schumer's face while he said it?

Of course, what goes around comes around and D'Amato himself was called a fascist by an opponent in 2002. And Schumer — now a highly regarded senator and a big macher in the Democratic Party — recently got in trouble for calling a flight attendant a bitch. At lease "fascist" and "bitch" are fairly adult sounding epithets. "Putz-head" sounds like something a six-year-old would conjure up. A six-year-old anti-semite with a serendipitously good grasp of Yiddish, we grant you. But still.

Anyway, welcome to your government, America. You might think that people would grow out of this BS once they represented the wants and needs of billions of people. But apparently it's first grade all over again.

And actually, considering the age of a lot of these senators, there's probably the same pee smell too.