Let's dig into our mailbag and see who our readers want us to profile. Here's a letter from Philadelphia which requests for someone named Eugene Krabs. Apparently, "people are always stereotyping him as a Jew due to his penny-pinching personality".
Now, believe it or not, even though we have children, we have avoided watching a single episode of Spongebob... We'll stick with Disney, thank you. In any case, Mr. Krabs is Spongebob's boss. He is, yes, a crab, and yes, very very cheap.
So does that make Mr. Krabs a Jew? Many on the Internet seem to think so. Sad, really. Well, let's see if we can find any evidence to confirm or deny these allegations.
To Youtube we go. Yes, he is cheap. Ugh. Sorry, Spongebob fans, this show is just not our thing. Just one more video, and that's it.
Aha! Here's Mr. Krabs giving his daughter (who is apparently some kind of a whale) a gift for her birthday. The daughter wants pretty shoes, and Mr. Krabs gives her cheap ugly ones. Oh, she is so disappointed! Oh, he is so cheap!
But he is so NOT Jewish. Sure, there is some truth to the stereotype, but even cheap Jews always, ALWAYS spoil their little princesses.
Besides, he is a crab. We don't allow treif inside temple!