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    About the Jew Score
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    Curt Herzstark

    Jew Score:



    July 26, 1902 – October 27, 1988

    Berlin, spring of 1945. Goebbels enters a room, where he is greeted by Goring and Bormann.

    Goebbels: So, what are you getting HIM for his birthday?

    Goring: I believe this year I topped you all, meine herren. A brand new, chrome-plated Mercedes-Benz, with 20 extra horsepower!

    Goebbels: Good one, Goring. Good one. What about you, Bormann?

    Bormann: Two tickets to the State Opera! Die Walkure!

    Goebbels: Only TWO tickets? Who is HE supposed to take with him? You?

    Bormann: Well...

    Goebbels: Always brown-nosing, Bormann. Always brown-nosing. No, meine herren, this year, none of you come close to my gift. Watch!

    Goebbels reaches into his pocket and produces a small cylindrical machine. It has a dial and is topped with a crank.

    Goring: What is it?

    Goebbels: A highly experimental...

    Bormann reaches for the machine. Goebbels quickly retracts his arm.

    Goebbels: Look, but don't touch!

    Goring: So what is it, Goebbels?

    Goebbels: Tell me, Goring, what's 7,498 plus 18,546?

    Goring: Ummm...

    Goebbels: Now watch!

    Goebbels spins the dial and turns the crank.

    Goebbels: 25,044!

    Goring: Astonishing! Amazing!

    Bormann takes out a pen from his pocket and scribbles on a sheet of paper lying on a desk.

    Bormann: Don't want to spoil your excitement, Goebbels, but I got 26,044.

    Bormann hands Goebbels the paper with calculations.

    Goebbels: That cannot be! Let's see here... Carry the one... No! NOOOO!

    Goebbels tosses the machine against the wall. It shatters into pieces.

    Goebbels: That... JEW!

    Bormann: What Jew, Goebbels?

    Goebbels: Some Austrian scientist we got working in one of our... camps. And I thought he'll have a working prototype ready for HIS birthday!

    Bormann: I think the Jew is pulling your leg, Goebbels.

    Goebbels: How so?

    Bormann: He is purposely withholding a working prototype so you keep him alive.

    Goebbels: You're over-thinking this, Bormann. No, obviously the Jew is not clever enough to do that...

    Bormann: If you say so, Goebbels... If you say so. Now excuse me, I need to pick out a tuxedo for the opera.

    Bormann exits the room. Goring shakes Goebbels' hand and also departs. Goebbels starts pacing.

    Goebbels: What to get HIM, what to get HIM... Oh, and I thought this machine was such a perfect gift! Oh well... There will always be next year!

    Curt Herzstark was liberated from Buchenwald on April 11, 1945, and created the working model of his hand-held calculator, the curta, by November.

    Verdict: Borderline Jew.

    February 8, 2012

    See Also

    Ralph Benjamin

    Adolf Hitler

    Amedee Mannheim

    Israel Abraham Staffel

    Abraham Stern
    © Jew or Not Jew, 2006-2024.