(Trey Anastasio, Mike Gordon,
Jon Fishman, Page McConnell)
1964 — , 1965 — , 1965 — , 1963 —
Every summer, we Jews pile into a large bus that carries us off into the wilds of New Hampshire or Upstate New York or some other Hashem-forsaken place where Hebrews would previously fear to tread.
Is this a special religious ceremony? A holy event? No, it's summer camp! A month of climbing ropes, freezing lakes, and raging hormones that, for some inexplicable reason, is overwhelmingly Jew-y.
We don't know why goyim don't send their kids to summer camp. Maybe non-Jewish parents actually like their kids? Who really knows? But this tradition (traditiooooon!) gives us Jews a few universal traits:
a large collection of lanyards
a surprising deftness with canoes (and bra straps)
a remarkable culinary skill with marshmallows
an affinity (no doubt also sparked by the previously mentioned love of pot) for jam bands
And so it goes that Jews, along with loving the ganja and the food and the summer camps also love them some Phish. Which works out, since half of them Phishies are Jewish themselves (on the Mike Gordon/Jon Fishman side). They're even known to play some Hebrew hits during their live shows. So, yeah, not bad.
Worth all those years of trudging through the forest in the middle of nowhere at 5 AM to be pushed into an icy lake? We wouldn't go that far...
Verdict: Borderline Jew.
September 12, 2011