Time for a little Van Damme-age!
If there was a golden age of dumb action films, then it was probably the 80s. Many a movie theater (or a living room in which the USA Network was received) was filled with young, suburban male fans cheering on the heroics of their favorite, heavily accented butt kicker. The heavies? Stallone. Seagal. Schwarzenegger. Van Damme. No other names necessary.
Need someone dressed as a hockey goalie to wrestle an alligator to protect a Native American tribe trapped in Vietnam? You knew that these were your guys.
What you didn't know in those days? Three of them are Jews. Ain't that a roundhouse to the head? OK, so Van Damme and Stallone are a quarter (if that), while Seagal is only half. But we tend to see our can of Jewish whup-ass as half full, as nearly 800 profiles can attest.
Of course, regular readers already knew about Seagal and Stallone. But thanks to the Muscles from Brussels we have a Talmudic Trifecta. Now if we could only get one of them to play a gun toting, taekwondo master rabbi.
Slam, bam, thank you Van Damme!