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    Duff Goldman

    Jew Score:



    (Jeffrey Adam Goldman)
    December 17, 1974 —

    It's our third birthday!

    Yes, just a short three years (and 613 profiles ago) JewOrNotJew.com was born. And how better to celebrate this momentous occasion than with a cake? Especially one baked by Jewish super-pastry chef and star of the Food Network's Ace of Cakes, Duff Goldman.

    But what do we want this maker of magical morsels to create for us? After all, Duff's cakes on the show are always more creative and complex than culinary.

    Here's what we're thinking so far:

    A sheet cake depicting the parting of the Red Sea, a little chocolate Moses at the front, pushing away waves of blue icing and clearing the way for his little chocolate people to cross to... our wonderful website in cake form!

    No? Too blasphemous? OK, howabout this then:

    A cake in the shape of a circumcised penis! And printed on the penis is our website! It could even be a little small because... y'know... Jews....

    Yeah, too vulgar (and, ummmmmm, informative?). OK, so let's do something more historic, even educational:

    It's a three-dimensional version of the famous last supper with Jesus and all his disciples, but lurking behind him carrying a deadly paperweight is...

    Y'know what? Maybe a cake isn't the best idea. Some of us here have diabetes, after all. Probably safer just to celebrate with some celery sticks this time around and hope we can come up with better ideas by next year.

    Verdict: Jew.

    August 30, 2009

    See Also

    Ron Ben-Israel

    The Little Tramp

    Franz Sacher

    Vic Seixas

    Shel Silverstein
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