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    Timon

    Jew Score:
    10

    I4

    O4

    K2

    If you look at the collection of Disney animated features from the past 20 years or so, you can almost see an affirmative action lawyer checking off the various minorities as they've been covered:

    Native Americans (Pocahantas and Brother Bear), Chinese (Mulan), Arabs (Aladdin), Africans (sort of, it was the Lion King, we grant you), Hawaiians (Lilo & Stich), Blacks (the upcoming Princess and the Frog), and Mermaids (The Little Mermaid).

    Yeah, you know where this is going. Where be our Jews?!

    For now we'll have to settle for the one (one?!) we've got: Timon (or Timon Berkowitz as it was later revealed), the plucky meerkat from the aforementioned Lion King.

    And, y'know what? He's not... OK, he's terrible. A selfish coward who lives with his heterosexual life partner in the jungle eating bugs? Come ON people. Is this really the best we can do? Every other race gets a frickin' princess and somehow the Jews don't? How in Hebrew heaven's name does THAT make sense?

    Oy.

    Anyway, here's hoping the Disney corporation sees the light and does an animated Purim or something in the near future. In the meantime we guess we'll settle for the meerkat (*sigh*) and thank Hashem that Timon is somehow still better than cartoon dreck like Mort Goldman and Dr. Zoidberg.

    Verdict: Jew.

    August 25, 2009

    See Also

    Mort Goldman

    Nathan Lane

    Princess Rebecca

    Vanellope Von Schweetz

    Dr. Zoidberg
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