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    Lisa Turtle

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    The James Wilson Law has been bothering us a lot recently. You know, the law that states that an ensemble cast of a TV show must have a Jewish character.

    First, we failed to find a Jew on Scooby-Doo (see Velma Dinkley). But that's a show about talking dogs that solve real estate scams. All credibility goes out of the window right there.

    But where is the Jew on Saved by the Bell? (A show about five ultra-popular kids hanging out with a dork and a principal definitely screams credibility!)

    It's not the dork, Screech (see his profile). It's definitely not Zack or Slater. We'd love to have Kelly, but she's a braindead cheerleader. (Wait, why did we say we'd love to have Kelly? Oh yeah... Tiffani-Amber Thiessen. That's right.) Lisa is black. And Jessie, although played by a Jew (see Elizabeth Berkeley), is as WASPy as they come. So that leaves... nobody.

    So much for the James Wilson Law? Not quite. For the Jew on Saved by the Bell is... Lisa.

    No, it's not because she is one of those rare occurrences, a black Jew. It's because Lisa was supposed to be Jewish: a fashion-obsessed J.A.P. with rich doctor parents. It's just that when Lark Voorhies auditioned, she won over the producers, and Lisa became black. Still obsessed with fashion. Still with rich doctor parents. No longer a J.A.P.

    What's this? We should look into Tori?

    That... season... never... happened!

    Verdict: Barely a Jew.

    July 30, 2009

    See Also

    Elizabeth Berkley

    Leanna Creel

    Peter Engel

    Mark-Paul Gosselaar

    Screech Powers
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