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    Cher Horowitz

    Jew Score:




    As part of JONJ's continued dedication to our long history and the Jewish community, we will occasionally republish profiles from our historical archives. Today we present Cher Horowitz, the character played by Alicia Silverstone in the movie "Clueless", as recapped in 1995 by Janice Jones from Malibu, California.

    Oh. My. Gawd.

    Like, last night, Jennifer calls me, and she's like, we gotta go see this rad movie, and I'm like, what movie, and she's like, Clueless, and I'm like

    Oh. My. Gawd.

    So today we go, and stand in line, and these two totally buggin dweebs try to pick us up, and I'm like, gag me with a spoon, and they're like, what-ever, and Jennifer is like, talk to the hand, and they're like, later

    As. If!

    So we like, go to the movie, and get popcorn, and the movie is like, totally rad, and Alicia is like, totally real, and I'm like, Jennifer, I love that skirt she's wearing, and Jennifer is like, totally, I think I saw it at the Gap, and I'm like, why didn't you buy it, and she's like, I was gonna to, but I think Jessica has it, and I'm like, no she doesn't, that one is sunflower, this one is chartrouse, and she's like, let's go to the mall after the movie, and I'm like


    And Alicia is like, my name is Cher Horowitz, and I'm like no freaking way, is Cher Jewish, because like, there's a Jewish girl in our class, and she's like, totally lame, and Jennifer is like, Jewish girls can be hot, and I'm like, no way, and she's like, way, and I'm like

    This just goes on and on. For our readers' sake, we're going to break it off at this point. Like, totally.

    Verdict: Jew.

    May 27, 2009

    See Also

    Amy Heckerling

    Dan Hedaya

    Brittany Murphy

    Paul Rudd

    Alicia Silverstone
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