Ah, The Breakfast Club. The athlete, the basket case, the criminal, the princess and the brain. Perhaps the most re-watchable of all the Hughes 80s films.

And in a movie that's all about judging a teenage book by its cover, you'd be forgiven if you assumed that neo maxi zoom dweebie Brian Johnson, was Jewish. Aren't all the dorky, ready-made-victim kids Jews in these movies?

But you'd be wrong. Brian is played by Anthony Michael Hall, who is of Irish/Italian descent and is Catholic.

Who is? None other than America's favorite bully Bender, played by 100% Jew Judd Nelson.

Now that's the kind thing we can get excited about! Sure, our high school selves would strenuously disagree, but the adult in us loves the guilty pleasure of rooting for the trouble-making, browbeating, bad boy. (With a heart of gold, of course. It is an 80s movie after all.)

What's that? It was the goyishe Hall that ended up dating the desirable Molly Ringwald after the film, not Nelson? And even though it's not saying much, Hall's had the better post-Breakfast Club career as well?

Aaargh! Even when we win we lose!