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    Edward Taussig

    Jew Score:
    10

    I4

    O2

    K4
    November 20, 1847 – January 29, 1921

    We're writing this — let the record show — on the morning of January 31, 2024, playing hooky from work and what not. Of course, it's not January 31, 2024 everywhere in the world. It's already February in New Zealand! Australia! Even parts of the US: Guam and Wake Island...

    Guam you probably have heard of, but Wake Island? Both of those are located on the other side of the International Date Line, which means that they are already hours into February. Guam has claimed to be "where America's day begins", but that's not exactly true. Wake Island, a coral atoll smack in the middle of the Pacific, is much closer to the line.

    Wake is one of the most remote islands in the world, with the closest neighbor over 500 miles away. That doesn't mean it's not without strategic importance: Japan took it over in World War II, but this came after the US simply decided that it was theirs all the way back in 1899. After the Spanish-American War, President McKinley sent Commander Edward D. Taussig (born to a Jewish family but raised Unitarian) to claim the island for the US. It turned out to be pretty simple... it's not like there were any residents to stop him.

    After claiming Wake, Taussig made his way to Guam, which he officially accepted from the Spanish and even served as governor. We guess this is where the two islands' fight for America's early morning supremacy began... As an airstrip on Wake Island once claimed, it's "where America's day REALLY begins"!

    Verdict: Borderline Jew.

    February 14, 2024

    See Also

    Stuart Beck

    Philip Ells

    Uriah Levy

    Harry Luke

    Hyman Rickover
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