Come Passover, there is one name that is ever-present at every Seder table. No, not Elijah... for some reason he never shows up. It's Manischewitz, of course.
If you ever bought any kind of packaged Jewish food, be is for Passover or any other reason, odds are it came from Manischewitz. Be it matzoh, macaroons, gut-wrenching gefilte fish, or that sweet, sweet wine, Manischewitz makes it all. And if you are bored like us and pass the time by reading the packaging, you will learn the story of Dov Behr Manischewitz, the immigrant rabbi who built a kosher empire...
On a lie. He built that kosher empire on a lie. You see, Dov Behr was not Manischewitz at all. He was Dov Behr Abramson, who bought his last new name off a dead man back in Lithuania. Some versions say it was to escape Russian military service. Others, to get passage to America.
Of course, either of this should be easily forgiven. (Besides, that famous "Man, oh Manischewitz" slogan wouldn't exactly work with "Abramson".) So, with that out of the way, we still need two questions answered:
Who the hell is Mrs. Adler?
And where the hell is that damn Elijah?